Zooming into Whole Foods, I grabbed a vegan tofu wrap and mineral water. Paying, zooming to the car, undressing my wrap, throwing the car into reverse, I was stoked about tasting the heavenly pleasure that would be my breakfast. WHAT THE F*CK. I’d bitten into something that I’d not tasted in 15 years. BEEF. Slamming on my brakes, I spit the mouthful into my bistro bag.

Examining the contents, I noticed beef AND cheese. WTF, I repeated. Double checking the VEGAN stamp and ingredients list, my head was fuming! It wasn’t fuming because of the beef and cheese factor (believe it or not), but rather because of the inconvenience! Already late for my appointment, I raced into the store, told customer service that I needed a replacement, found the only remaining vegan tofu wrap, opened it, and what did I find?


“Would the manager of prepared foods please come to customer service immediately?”

If you were in Whole Foods on that day, you would have thought the world was ending. Customer service totally got it. And they called manager Jim immediately.

He was completely and absolutely stunned, embarrassed, and apologetic. And imagine me, the former bulimic who freaked out on the Starbucks girl for accidentally adding sugar to my drink a few years ago, remaining calm yet annoyed. I was so surprised at my lack of reaction. The taste of beef and cheese existed in my mouth, yet I smiled. I really did smile. Ask Jim.

“I have no intention of making this a big deal. But I recommend that your employees understand the importance of food labelling and dietary requirements. I trust that Vegan stamp. I trust Whole Foods. I picked this food because I do not like meat. But if I were allergic? There’d be one hell of a problem. Now I’m late. Could you please make me a vegan BLT so we can get on with our days?”

What’s happening to me? Have I taken a Yoga Chill Pill?

I’m not writing this story to ask for your back-patting and congratulations on successfully loosening my grip. I am writing this story to divulge that practicing yoga really makes me more aware of people. With yoga, I’m nicer and happier. I didn’t want for someone to be fired over this mistake. I didn’t want for someone to be chastised. So I remained calm and happy. I acted like a human being instead of a raging food bitch, something of which I’m sadly capable.

And the people at Whole Foods were great! They really handled what could have been a catastrophic event superbly. In fact, over the last few days, the resulting vegan tofu scrambles have been mouth wateringly divine. Extra plump. Extra soft. Extra perfect. And everyone who knows me as “that tofu wrap girl” has extended apology, too, saying something to the extent of “Oh my goodness, we heard about what happened. There was a HUGE department meeting. That mistake will NEVER happen again.”

I am so happy about the happy ending.

And I’m glad that I helped people to understand dietary requirements. I mean, it’s really no biggie to someone who doesn’t live a food-specific lifestyle. But for someone who does? For me? The amazing reaction of Whole Foods earns my stamp of approval.

And I hope they start carrying the Yoga Chill Pill on shelves nationwide. ;)

How would you have reacted?